@DurtMcHurtt: The crack of dawn is probably just as good as the crack you get at midnight.
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@tastefactory: I've been chasing a fly around my apartment for like 20 mins with a rolled up magazine. There's a really good article I think he should see
@1InTheStinker: The cops came to my house claiming my dog chased someone down on a bike! I explained to the idiots that my dog doesn't own a bike.
@vladsavov: The most popular car brands are German, Japanese, and Italian. It's like losing WW2 is a prerequisite for making good autos.
@SomthinBoutSara: I'm so stoned........ It took me three tries to turn out the bathroom light. Turns out the toilet flush handle does not control the lights.