@DurtMcHurtt: The crack of dawn is probably just as good as the crack you get at midnight.
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@mattytalks: Actually Jennifer, diamonds are a girls best friend, so technically I slept with your second best friend
@InternetHippo: GOD: I designed this world with a purpose, why did u change everything PEOPLE: We— [pug walks by] GOD: What…the HELL…is that
@ceejoyner: A sign in the window reads CURED MEATS. Inside, a salami takes his first steps since the accident. A prosciutto learns to forgive.
@StarWarsProblms: Yoda: A Jedi, you will not be. Train Chewbacca, I will. Luke: But why? Yoda: Better piggyback rides, he gives.