@sbellelauren: the craziest thing about today's story where a bear attacked a 12 year old girl jogging in her neighborhood is WHY IS A 12 YEAR OLD JOGGING
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@Phantasmagoriax: If you ever want to watch a women feel herself up for ten minutes, hide her cellphone.
@the_couch_guy: People of Twitter: If you worry that you aren't creative enough, buy a gym membership and see how many excuses you find not to use it.
@dafloydsta: Whenever I get a "Final Notice" letter from a bill collector, I assume this concludes our business transaction.