@sbellelauren: the craziest thing about today's story where a bear attacked a 12 year old girl jogging in her neighborhood is WHY IS A 12 YEAR OLD JOGGING
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@junejuly12: As there aren't any female leprechauns, where do leprechauns come from ~ something to ponder every St Patrick's Day
@KimmyMonte: How to tell if your cat is a dog: 1) it barks 2) it doesn't hate you 3) someone once said aw cute dog 4) it's like a horse but slower
@: [first day as a cop] MY PARTNER: oh shit, there's a body in this house! ME: yeah frank, there are bodies in all houses, that's where people live
@Reverend_Scott: Ok doc, give it to me straight. "It's cancer" How bad? "Really bad, you have 2 months." OMG "APRIL FOOLS!" Whew- "You have 2 days."