@Shock_Monster: The cruelest part of the movie Bambi?nnnnHis mom named him "Bambi." nnShe deserved what she got for that.
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@QwertyJones3: "Wearing horizontal stripes will make you look bigger and really stand out." Young Waldo: (whispering) Some day I'll prove you wrong.
@Sammy_Sega: BAD: When your date has been in the Men's Room for 45 mins. WORSE: When the 6 yo girl at the table next to you says "he's not coming back"
@notalogin: We can play Yahtzee again. -You fixed the broken dice? Yeah. And they'll never break again. -How do you know? *grins* Die mends are forever.
@withanewname: [Installing ceiling fan] Me: drill…screwdriver… tape…there finished! Wife on the phone: Is this Bob's fix-it shop? Yeah, he just got done.