@weinerdog4life: The date was going great until she spooked me and then I squirted her with ink and quickly swam away
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@Xoolun: Been having a problem with diarrhea & its unbearable The doc said lemons will help I said I know but as soon as I take 1 out it starts again
@TweetsByTheTony: Hey, girl. I noticed you checking out my Hello Kitty socks. Just so you know...the boxers match. *winks*
@MableGertrude: Judging people on Twitter is equivalent to an alcoholic showing up to an AA meeting and making fun of all the other drunks.
@A_New_Chapter_: I will not kill my coworkers I will not kill my coworkers I will not.... Maybe just one...