@CatsVsHumanity: The dentist gives me toothpaste when I leave. Step up your game gynecologist.
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@truegritrumble: I've been kicked out of my gym for dressing like the grim reaper and standing silently behind people on treadmills.
@KateWhineHall: Playing mini-golf with your family is a fun way to spend thirty-two dollars to watch your kid throw 18 tantrums in a row.
@JKickinit30: People that say you can’t get blood from a stone have obviously never tried hitting someone in the face with it.
@dadofbieber: Studies suggests, 9 out of 10 men prefer a girl with a big butt. The 10th man prefers the other 9 men.