@BromanConsul: the devil has a tape recorder containing the sounds you made when you sang aloud with a group but didn't actually know the words
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@HairyJew4Life: Filing taxes is so depressing. Do you own a home? No. Have a spouse? Not even close. Kids? Not that I know of. Enjoy your refund, loser
@retardedwriter: This guy texting in metro besides me keeps covering his phone, like I care about his dinner plans in CP with his girlfrnd "Shona baby"
@mstluvstrinkets: On our way to husbands vasectomy he asks *do you think they'll want me to remove my socks?*. I don't know what he thinks is about to happen.
@NervousJr: Whenever you're feeling really bad about yourself just remember, there's people that pay money to exercise.