@missekay: The difference between a brown noser and an ass kisser is depth perception.
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@foodfacenow: Interview Boss: Greatest weakness Me: Sometimes I answer questions with 90s rap lyrics B: Is that here on your resume M: Whoomp, there it is
@SuperTeeWhy: [School] Teacher: What's ur biggst fear? Child1: Ghosts! Child2: Dogs! Child3: That humanity's core reaction to misunderstanding is anger
@thesarahthing: "I wasn't that drunk..." "Dude, you were driving your truck around the Walmart parking lot trying to find your truck."