@avxlanche: the difference between me and humpty dumpty is that his friends looked at him and thought to themselves "we should put him back together"
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@Brianhopecomedy: I told my wife that if she has any problems she can talk to me like she talks to her girlfriends so we're discussing why I'm such a idiot.
@Easy_Tiger__: Girls are like puppies. If you don't take them out enough, they'll poop on your rug. SERIOUSLY ASHLEY ON MY RUG??
@InternetHippo: Politics is so confrontational now. I miss the old days, when we settled our differences with *raises glasses to look at history book* war
@trojansauce: [creating foxes] GOD: make it orange & give it a fat tail ANGEL: ok... GOD: and make it sneaky ANGEL: you sure? GOD: yeah... real sneaky