@kumailn: The director of "A Girl in the River" went to high school with me in Karachi! She won an Oscar! This is not gonna help w my parents. #Oscars
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@huntigula: GOD: it's time I punished the humans again JESUS: cool. flood or plague? GOD:[watching The Apprentice] oh I've something way worse in mind..
@Marcmywords2: Tequila doesn't make me drunk and disorderly, it just seems that way, cuz Police Reports are all written by cops.
@UncleDuke1969: You follow me. I follow you. You unfollow me. I unfollow you. You follow me. I follow you. You unfollow me. I block you. "A Game of Phones"
@WhiteKid4Sale: Why do people say raw sewage. Saying raw makes it sound like it becomes better if cooked properly.