@sbellelauren: the divorce rate among my socks is astonishing
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@AmarndaBvnes: don’t be offended if someone doesn’t reply to your text. their phone is prob “just on silent” or “right in front of their lying face”
@michaeljhudson: "Mr. President, N. Korea is threatening to bomb your birthplace" "Why, there's nothing for them in Keny-" "HAWAII, sir" "Right, that's wh
@GrantTanaka: On your deathbed tell everyone "pray for me" then make sure to leave a note to be opened after you die that says "pray harder next time"