@: The doctor says I'm depressed because I don't have enough iron in my diet so I've started nibbling on the gun in my mouth.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@NicCageMatch: The turkey is the luckiest one at the Thanksgiving table because it's already dead.
@iamspacegirl: Spider-Man, hanging right in front of your face when you turn on the bathroom light.
@OkieGirl405: Pro tip: when your neighbors make you mad, send your 8 y/o son over to describe in complete detail what all 379 of his Hot Wheels look like
@paralysing_word: If you think you're too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquito.