@shamans_heal: The doctor wants me to start eating healthier to add years to my life. It's like he doesn't realize I'm married.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Gre_Gone: Jesus: One among you will betray me. John: No way dude. Matthew: No way dude. Judas: *thumbing through designer cross catalogue* Plausible.
@tastefactory: A funny thing to do would be to text random numbers with "I got the live bees you sent, they'll do nicely"
@dumbbeezie: If you kill a spider you're brave but if you kill a person you're a monster, I'm really tired of these double standards