@davedittell: the doctors gnash their teeth and howl through the night, but they dare not breach the lines of my apple orchard
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@click4amanda: War vets with prosthetic limbs are running marathons and I'm busy trying to lasso the tv remote with my phone charger cord.
@KeetPotato: advice: describing someone's cupcakes as being "better than sex" is only a compliment if you aren't sleeping with them
@Holy_Mowgli: PRIEST: the child is inhabited by the same evil spirit we crossed paths with! CHILD [demon voice]: DON'T END A SENTENCE WITH A PREPOSSESSION