@craigrachel: The dogboner /Neil degrasse Tyson situation has been an elaborate ruse all so Michael hale could claim on gawker that he has a girlfriend
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@HughGoesThere: Writer: Got this great idea for a movie... “102 Dalmations.” Walt Disney: That’s way too many dalmations.
@AdamBroud: Gym Employee: Thats not how you operate that machine, sir. Me: *Hanging clothes all over treadmill* But this is how I use it at home.
@Rollinintheseat: Interviewer: "What's your greatest accomplishment?" Me: "I was in a lot of people's MySpace Top 8s back in 2004."
@echoVista: You just HAD to let snakes and spiders on the Ark, didn't you Noah? Way to go, man. Way. To. Go.