@craigrachel: The dogboner /Neil degrasse Tyson situation has been an elaborate ruse all so Michael hale could claim on gawker that he has a girlfriend
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@TheCiscoKidder: 5 year old: Where does wind come from, daddy? Me: It comes from people asking too many questions.
@merican_ninjy: Yelling out "Stranger Danger!" is a good way to say no when a cashier asks for your zip code.
@novicefather: [glances toward living room stenographer] "Please read back what my wife said 45 seconds ago." stenographer: I promise not to get mad