@craigrachel: The dogboner /Neil degrasse Tyson situation has been an elaborate ruse all so Michael hale could claim on gawker that he has a girlfriend
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@zachheltzel: Everything doesn't "happen for a reason." The universe is not aware of your existence. Stop being arrogant.
@Blondiethegood: I just threw away all the toilet paper in the office so this day is about to get interesting.
@markhoppus: "The concept of romantic love is obsolete in the modern era" I declare loudly to no one in particular as I grab for another dinner roll.
@Donna_McCoy: Replace someone's MRI with a dancing skeleton gif once, and you'll never be asked to deliver bad news again.