@craigrachel: The dogboner /Neil degrasse Tyson situation has been an elaborate ruse all so Michael hale could claim on gawker that he has a girlfriend
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@better_off_dad: HR: Know why we called you down? Me: Hmm...my trench coat? HR: Try again. Me: Because I'm naked under my trench coat?
@MisterBombay: Whenever I'm waiting for an elevator & the door finally slides open I pretend I'm on a Game Show & just won a group of people
@weinerdog4life: If you say "NO YOURE UNDER ARREST" the cop legally has to get in the back of your car.