@craigrachel: The dogboner /Neil degrasse Tyson situation has been an elaborate ruse all so Michael hale could claim on gawker that he has a girlfriend
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@IamEnidColeslaw: you know who else had a "fun hat phase"? Abe Lincoln. and we all know what happened to THAT guy
@AndyAsAdjective: 20YR OLD ME: awww yeah! a new car! 30YR OLD ME: aww yeah! a new Xbox 360! 40YR OLD ME: aw yeah! a new shower curtain with a mildew-resistant liner!
@MarcusTheToken: I left some acorns in the spot where I killed a squirrel because I'm thoughtful. Also because a gang of squirrels burned a cross in my yard.