@ExcuseMyTweets: The door is closed? I want in. The door is open? I want out. Actually I just want to sit in the door frame itself. - Pets
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@shkeeber: There's no easy way to tell someone you lost their kid in a high stakes game of duck duck goose.
@WritePlay: ME: So are you gonna put it in me or what NURSE: Sir it's a blood draw please stop saying that
@JennyJohnsonHi5: Mayonnaise is cum. When you put it on a sandwich, you're spreading cum on your bread. When you ask for it on a burger, you ordered cum.
@rolldiggity: Halloween is my favorite holiday where you can trespass on a stranger's property and make a non-negotiable demand.