@reesespiece_: The door to door bible people just skipped my house! See, all it takes is trying to kiss the guy and he wont be back (until 3am)
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@Mr_Kapowski: *on the karaoke mic* "I normally don't sing outside the shower so I hope you guys don't mind if I do this naked"
@XplodingUnicorn: Me: What are you doing?! 5-year-old: Hugging my sister. Me: Hugs don't start with a flying tackle. 5: Me: 5: The good ones do.
@themorris23: And remember kids, when you go to Target, there really is no "non creepy" way to ask where the Vaseline is.