@Ristolable: The downside to posting jokes all the time is that if I tweeted "Help, I am in an Iranian prison" everyone would be like "haha good one"
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@cervixsmash: Psychiatrist cannibal by day, pop star singing sensation by night Hannibal Montanibal
@mattZillaaaa: I've seen such a change in myself this past year. I've really grown a lot. I need bigger pants
@Darlainky: Me: Want to see me do The Robot? Friend: Sure. Me: Friend: Why aren't you moving? Me: Updating software.