@GermanFreckles: The drunker I get, the more dance moves I know.
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@retardedwriter: Never understood the desperation behind placing ur order in English at KFC/McD. Heard a guy practicing his order while sanding in the queue.
@TheToddWilliams: [Japan] HEAD SCIENTIST: Hey, what did you guys do with all the nuclear waste? *distant Godzilla noises*
@Jake_Vig: It would be easier if they just reported which parts of the globe aren't on fire and don't have hurricanes.