@GermanFreckles: The drunker I get, the more dance moves I know.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Sassafrantz: Me: There's nothing better than a quiet evening out with friends after a hectic week. Tequila: We're gonna fight every girl in this bar!
@trentistweeting: [interview] My biggest weakness is that I'm too literal "That's fine. Your resume looks good, welcome aboard!" *turns to whiteboard* welcome
@whatmaddness: [inventing wedding dresses] a massive skirt! more skirt! MORE now, put a skirt over her face! god ya that’s the stuff
@IamEveryDayPpl: Coworker: Do you have any snacks? Me: WHY DOES EVERYONE THINK I HAVE SNACKS? DO I LOOK LIKE I HAVE SNACKS? Coworker: Me: Top desk drawer.