@noogscorner: The early bird catches the worm. And the late bird catches one of the other trillion worms left. What's your point?
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@dafloydsta: [at the gym] PERSONAL TRAINER: What kind of body do you want to have? ME: *leans in close* I'd prefer human
@K_Chapacabra: Emoji: because sometimes a chicken, the Spanish flag, and a lesbian couple is the only way to express how you really feel.
@drinksmcgee: Be the first thought on her mind when she wakes up & the last before she sleeps... unless she's plotting your murder... then don't be that.
@jazmasta: They say a dog can retrieve a tennis ball from over a mile away. Seems a bit far fetched to me.