@noogscorner: The early bird catches the worm. And the late bird catches one of the other trillion worms left. What's your point?
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@Death_Buddy: Hey, did you say that your dog likes to 'exercise' or 'exorcise'? [dog is already throwing holy water around the house]
@itsrealTED: "I need a boyfriend" No, you WANT a boyfriend. You NEED water, cause you sound thirsty.
@AimeeHelene1: *yells at husband* I can't make it fit! It won't fit! Him: Just turn it a little. Me: *screams in excitement* We finished the puzzle!!
@Izianikapani: I read my daughter a book about a Frogapotamus last night and dreamt of riding one. Tonight I'm reading her Hugh Jackman's autobiography.