@rorynotroy: the early bird gets the worm but so does the bird that gets outta bed around 1pm because there are plenty of worms out there believe me
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@mydmac: I like to cook for a man when I first start dating him. That way he'll be disappointed from the start. Not just when he sees me naked.
@CornOnTheGoblin: Hello everyone this is your pilot speaking. If u look out the windows on your left youll see some fish. This is the worst Ive ever messed up
@jmhuntsinger: Judging by the quality of some of your tweets I can tell this isn't the first time you've failed in life.
@iamchrisscott: I love that the generation after millennials is called Generation Z like we all kinda know this whole thing is wrapping up soon