@KevinFarzad: The earth moves 1.6 million miles per day. So no I didn't just "lay in bed and watch TV all day" I traveled very far thank u
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@Swishergirl24: I'm developing an app that makes a cricket sound effect at the end of my coworkers' stories.
@GloriaFallon123: My 7-year-old daughter asked me twice today "what poison would kill someone the fastest?" and now I'm wondering if I've underestimated her.
@AmishPornStar1: You know you're getting old when you sound like a women's tennis match just trying to get out of bed.
@truegritrumble: (Disney Dating Tips) 1.Kidnap Dad 2.Coerce Daughter 3.Awkward music-filled dates 4.Angry mob danger 5.Stockholm Syndrome -Beauty & the Beast