@KevinFarzad: The earth moves 1.6 million miles per day. So no I didn't just "lay in bed and watch TV all day" I traveled very far thank u
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@TheTimmyToes: [JanSport keynote address] (audience grumbling) "where is he?" *CEO emerges from backpack on stage* *crowd goes nuts*
@pixelatedboat: To be honest you were our third choice for this poisoner job but the other two got poiso... oh that was you, nice
@koalaslament: I need a new job. One where I'm always running out the door with my arms flailing and holding a jar screaming "I GOTTA GET THIS TO THE LAB!"