@wickedsuga: The earth revolves around the sun. So, I guess if you want me to revolve around you, you're gonna have to set yourself on fire.
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@shkeeber: *cape flaps in the wind* Me: Are you ready to defend freedom for another day, Captain K? Mom: Quit blocking the fan and put the cat down.
@RandiLawson: Nice try horror movies, but everyone in my generation is already terrified to answer their phones
@internetluke: [plane] "Is there a doctor on board?" Im a doctor "Okay quick the passenger is having a heart att- Of fine arts "What?" Doctor of Fine Arts