@wickedsuga: The earth revolves around the sun. So, I guess if you want me to revolve around you, you're gonna have to set yourself on fire.
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@thenatewolf: *Creator of Charlie Brown sits down to draw a cartoon* What do eight-year-old boys look like again? Bald? It's bald, right?
@sageboggs: No Shave November No Deodorant December Lose Your Job January Forget To Pay Rent February Move in With Mom and Dad March
@PYWL: I just saw a video of a snake that learned to open doors. I probably don't need to sleep anymore anyway.
@MeatloafComedy: It's been a horrible day. This morning my ex got ran over by a fed ex truck. Then I lost my job at fed ex.