@SufficientCharm: The easiest way to confuse a man is to wear a straight jacket that accentuates your cleavage.
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@pleatedjeans: Lawyer: did your boyfriend commit the crime? Girlfriend: honey he can't even commit to this relationship Entire jury: OH SNAP
@dshack8: My wife is so married that she even stopped blowing out the candles on her birthday cake cause she doesn't want me gettin' any ideas.
@Robinbuble: If you post a handstand photo of yourself at the beach in Uggs you're automatically entered into an essay contest on why you love your Jetta
@jabbins: Left my car for maybe 15 minutes in front of the dorms and I come back to this. College man