@jwoodham: The easiest way to find out if a movie is on Netflix is to simply ask yourself "do I want to see it?" If you do, it's not on Netflix.
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@NoTheOtherJohn: ME: judging by this blood stain the murderer appears to have been a turkey ACTUAL POLICE OFFICER: That's a hand print
@david8hughes: Therapist: today we're going to do an exercise Me [shifts nervously in seat]: oh, I-uh Therapist: calm down, fatty. Not actual exercise