@aveuaskew: The easiest way to get over someone is with a steamroller.
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@UNTRESOR: "His arms are spaghetti, his feet are spaghetti, on stage he's spaghetti, his Mom's spaghetti." - Eminem first draft
@freypalm: *montage of me teaching a penguin to do everything my son Brian can do* Wife: Where's Brian? Me: [studying her closely] He's… right here?
@hippieswordfish: ME: any advice DAD: its ok to embellish a little [later at job interview] INTERVIEWER: tell me about yourself M: i wrote harry potter