@ScorpionDong: The easiest way to get rid of a ghost is to ask him for some rent money or to help with the dishes
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@samalmightysam: I don't like to brag about going to expensive places, but I just went to the gas station.
@Home_Halfway: HER: I like talking during sex, but I can't stand it when you narrate the whole thing ME: As she complains, I begin removing my pants slowly
@ElleOhHell: "The new iPhone 6 is bigger!" Meh. "It has more sensors!" Pfft. "You can block group texts." I WOULD LIKE ONE THOUSAND OF YOUR IPHONE