@Brentweets: The east coast is experiencing a "Snowpocalypse" or as Canada calls it "Monday"
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@leducviolet: Scientists have identified the dog particle. It is a good particle. Such a good particle yes it is. Does it want a treatsy weatsy yes it doe
@ScobeyWanKenobi: The best part about being thirty is that I'm finally old enough to play a high schooler in movies.
@citizenkawala: I wrote a Facebook status asking what's happening in Young Sheldon and then unfriended everyone who replied.
@truegritrumble: I once dated a girl so my pet rock wouldn't be embarrassed after he threw himself at her window.