@Brentweets: The east coast is experiencing a "Snowpocalypse" or as Canada calls it "Monday"
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@WeissBrandon: Cop: do you know why I was following you? Me: WAS following? Wait you unfollowed me? Cop:haha Me:haha Cop... Me... Is it cause of the drugs?
@tastefactory: Hey Law & Order, please stop throwing around the word semen all willy-nilly, I'm trying to watch this with my mom
@LosLos__: Me: I love you, too...umm... [Wife says her name] Me: See? After all these years we're still finishing each other's sentences.
@SadPeruna: Until you show me in the corporate dress code where it says masks & capes aren't allowed, I must refuse to reveal my identity to the others.