@aeharder: The efficient part about falling asleep on the toilet at work is that inevitably someone who had beans for lunch will come and wake you.
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@Dawn_M_: Homeless people are so lucky. They don't have to pay rent and can eat as many pigeons as they want.
@ericsshadow: I can tell exactly how much someone weighs by how much noise they make when I push them down the stairs.
@BigRadMachine: I was once accused of stealing money from work. I didn't do it but it was nice to know management also thought I wasn't getting paid enough.