@aeharder: The efficient part about falling asleep on the toilet at work is that inevitably someone who had beans for lunch will come and wake you.
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@internetluke: *hears robber in house* If anybody is there.. I have Updog & I'm not afraid to use it. "What's Updog?" Not too much haha you? "Robbing you"
@walkerwalt: Before encouraging everyone to "do whatever makes you happy," ask if anyone is a sadist. Don't encourage the sadists.
@thepunningman: Dr: your father is real sick Woman: [sobbing] how long? [her dad wheelies past on a bmx] Dr: almost six yards that time
@lazerdoov: I hope my boss asks me to draw a bunch of cats wearing top hats today cause then I'll already be done my work and I can leave early