@lecalabara: "The entire sky is mine to explore!Nah, Ill just swoop dangerously through traffic instead."- Birds
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@Book_Krazy: My husband just told me to relax, like he doesn't remember we're camping in the desert and I brought a shovel.
@leshnevsky: - Michelle, we must break up... - Oh, I'll kill myself! - That's a nice bonus. Thank you!
@craydrienne: 1. Pick jeans to wear 2. Pull them up to thighs 3. Pants dance for 3 minutes 4. Take pants off 5. Put sweatpants on 6. Cry, eat pumpkin pie
@NicestHippo: [museum tour in the future] Racism and sexism ended in the 21st century, when brave Americans argued it out of existence online