@RubyBottoms: The ex says he's come into some money and can finally "take care" of me. Wait...he's gonna have me killed isn't he?
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@MoneypennyNaked: [starts Power Point presentation titled "Why I'm Breaking Up With You"] Him: Wait, what the--? Me: Please hold all questions until the end.
@abbycohenwl: "It's a banana in my pocket" "May I remind the defendant that he's under oath?" *averts eyes* "I'm glad to see you"