@RubyBottoms: The ex says he's come into some money and can finally "take care" of me. Wait...he's gonna have me killed isn't he?
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@mrsmith196645: I spent the day in nature and by nature I mean drinking beer on a golf course. I saw a butterfly.
@Sanbel11: My friend asked me today if I started Christmas shopping. I'm crying. While digging a hole to bury her.
@KalvinMacleod: [date] ME: ur jacket goes well with ur purse HER: *sits down* see it’s not hard to be complimentary ME: u mean complementary HER: *gets up*