@TheAlexNevil: The expression should be "seeing things eyes to eyes". Otherwise you're suggesting a meeting of the minds between Cyclops
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@murrman5: I'm off to the store got your wallet? yes you sure? YES *hour later wife turns on news and I'm being chased by 6 cop cars and a helicopter*
@EndhooS: [1st date, don't let her know you're a panda] "Do u mind if I ask how you got the um *gestures at eyes* These? I..*rubs neck* cage fighting
@DadandBuried: 6yo: What's for dinner? Me: Pork medallions. 6: I HATE THOSE! Me: I'll give you $1000 if you can tell me what either pork or medallions are.
@1_swarthy_dude: Astrophysicists still struggling to explain the Big Bang Theory: "It's a corny show! We just don't get it!" said one astrophysicist.