@JermHimselfish: The eyes are the window to the soul which is why I'm throwing pebbles at your face.
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@sageboggs: Worst flight I've ever been on. Waited for hours, plane never left the ground.. I'm never flying Airbnb again
@Elizasoul80: Trump, 2 years into his presidency: "What do you mean we can't just file for bankruptcy?"
@TheSwanDon: So my dad was all "stop eating my pills" and then I was like "stop melting into the floor and spinning multi colored webs you talking lamp"
@kevinseccia: The new $100 bills are insane. A purple stripe, the hologram thingy, the Ben Franklin that says "kill, kill, kill" as his eyes swirl...