@JermHimselfish: The eyes are the window to the soul which is why I'm throwing pebbles at your face.
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@hazelmotes1: Inspirational Tweet: The journey of 1,000 miles begins with "daaaaad I have to peeeeee"
@magicraisin: She said: "I want to have your children." . Me: "They'll be on the first bus in the morning."
@ibid78: I have batlike reflexes. -You mean catlike reflexes? *screeches real loud right in your face to locate food and avoid obstacles*
@laurenreeves: "911, what's your emergency?" "Hi. Long time listener, first time caller." "That's really funny." "Thank you. Anyways, I'm being stabbed."