@JermHimselfish: The eyes are the window to the soul which is why I'm throwing pebbles at your face.
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@smithsara79: OB-GYN: Ever consider having kids? Me: *remembers the time I heard some man tell a little girl to smile & she told him to die* Just once.
@NoticablyBacon: Its a little cheesy but holding up a boom box outside her window and blasting the song "Cotton Eye Joe" will win her back everytime
@TheDairylandDon: No rule against wearing an old Halloween costume to Thanksgiving. Let your racist uncle talk presidential politics with Donkey from Shrek.