@maratasin: The fact that crocodile ate your enemy, does not make him your friend.
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@ShortSleeveSuit: [at a movie theater] Cashier: Can I help u? Me: One large cornpop please C: Sir it’s the other way around Me: Ok- can I help u?
@Gooooats: According to science the atoms in my body contain the energy of 30 hydrogen bombs, and yet not enough energy to get up early and go jogging.
@ClichedOut: HER: hey, do u come here often? ME: all the time HER: do u know if the bartender is single?