@LeeryLeary: The fact that the British call math "maths" scares me, since the only thing more frightening than math is plural math.
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@SamanthaRae49: When people show me pictures of their kids I show them pictures of my exes. If I have to look at their mistakes, they have to look at mine.
@headway10: Overheard in a restaurant. Grandma: "Oh, I could really go for a Quickie right about now!" Grandpa: "It's pronounced a Quiche, dear!"
@lawblob: Waldo books are cute until u learn he owes $100,000 in unpaid child support & is wanted for arson