@LeeryLeary: The fact that the British call math "maths" scares me, since the only thing more frightening than math is plural math.
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@Social_Mime: My friend is a meteorologist so when he wants to hang out I tell him there's a 100% chance I'll be there and then I don't show up.
@hazelmotes1: Wife: wow, we must have had a lot of trick or treaters come by! Me: wha? Her: Because all the candy is gone Me: Ooooh right. So many.
@Token_Geezer: Yeah, but I thought the whole point of twitter was to be stalked.nnThe word 'follower' should be evidence of that
@QwertyJones3: "What'd you do this weekend?" I was shooting craps. "Oh you went to a casino?" *flashback to blasting dog turds with shotgun* Um, yeah.