@BadassBarbie11: The fact that this peanut butter jar states that it "Contains Peanuts" makes me extremely nervous for the human race.
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@crunchenhancer: A 6'-6" guy doesn't scare me, but my 5'-1" wife does, if you were looking for inspiration to get married.
@NickBossRoss: When people say they want to give a voice to the voiceless I say like a ventriloquist?
@CatherineLMK: Shaking hands is so weird: "Nice to meet you, have some germs and dead skin cells."