@donni: The fact that we don't use towels to dry towels makes me question the value of towels.
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@iinkedZombie: [courtroom] Me: "I OBJECT YOUR HONOR" Judge: on what grounds? "LEGAL MUMBO JUMBO" Prosecutor: he's good Judge: *slams gavel* case dismissed.
@Tommytoughstuff: [Jail] INMATE: I killed a guy. SCOOBY DOO VILLAIN: I got caught trying to haunt an old warehouse by a bunch of teenagers and a talking dog.
@LinajkReturns: You have beautiful eyes. Too bad they're attached to the head of a stark raving lunatic.
@TweetingDadGuy: Please women who wear 1 inch heels. What's the point? You look ridiculous. What difference does 1 inch really make? Don't answer that.