@withanewname: The family pet is getting old so we're all pitching in and throwing the dog poop in the neighbors yard when she can't make it over there.
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@PaperWash: "I bought a new car!" Whoa that's a lemon, how much did you pay? "Only $3,200" Dude it's literally a piece of fruit "Damn....not again"
@_Tempo11: HE'S SUPER FRIENDLY I yell as my big black dog runs full speed toward a group of screaming toddlers
@drumforge: yeah sex is cool but have you tried washing your dishes right after you use them so they never pile up in the sink???
@mollymcnearney: Okay body wash, unless you're caffeinated and drinkable, you can cool it with the "energizing" claims. You're soap.