@AsgardianRose: The fastest and most deadly land mammal is a woman who has noticed another woman flirting with her man.
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@Alex_N_Chains: I think it's fair to question whether or not Barack Obama is an American. I mean, look at him. He's awfully thin...
@jabba_jabba_jaw: Hug your children. Hug your friends and family. Hug the cashier at Chipotle. Hug someone else's children. Hug the arresting officer.
@3BlindMike: The cat puked all over the bath mat so I just tossed it into the trash can. Then I put the bath mat in the washer.
@charstarlene: I can't wait to get married and communicate my disdain solely through aggressive dishwashing.