@OneFunnyMummy: The fastest way to get your kids to shut up is to ask them a question you want answered.
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@SortaBad: Why I don't get dates: Her: It's been light-years since I've had this much fun Me: Actually, a light-year is a unit of distance, not time
@ValeeGrrl: Just when you think parenting can't be any weirder, you find yourself consoling your son, upset that he can't get a squirrel to hug him.
@TheTweetOfGod: Give a man a fish, he'll eat for a day. Teach a man to fish, he'll add to the global overdepletion of the oceans. So just give him the fish.