@ThePocketJustin: The FBI's terrorist hotline is not a place to chat with hot terrorists. I know that now.
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@Swishergirl24: I'm developing an app that makes a cricket sound effect at the end of my coworkers' stories.
@PrettyInCamo11: I wonder if tap dancers walk into a room, look at the floor and think, "I'd tap that."
@comer310: Cop: A ghost killed your family? Guy: Yes! Cop: Did u forward yesterday's spooky chain email to 5 ppl? Guy: No? Cop: Well there you go.
@Shock_Monster: HR: Does anyone know what FMLA stands for? Me: Fire My Lazy Ass? HR: ... Me: I was gonna guess Lesbian Ass but thought that's inappropriate.