@topaz_kell: The field sobriety test was going ok until I grabbed two traffic cones and did a Madonna impersonation.
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@Try2StopME: Interviewer: "So why should we hire you?" Me: "Cause I need a job very badly." Interviewer: "So?" Me: "And you have a vacancy. BINGO"
@Hect0rMayorga: 1st girl @ the moon: - Houston, we have a problem - What happened? - Nothing, doesn't matter - Come on - Nothing.. - Tell me - U should know
@sammyrhodes: Olive Garden is appropriately named given that an olive garden is exactly where even Jesus was disappointed.
@EndhooS: [Blind date] Girl: I've always had a bit of a thing for bad boys Dog: [starts putting on his coat] I don't think this is gonna work out