@ericsshadow: The fireworks have been over for hours but Rex is still barking, which is weird because he's 12 years old and not a dog. Weird little kid.
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@ShittyComedian: Every time I see a person handing out flyers it blows my mind that some people actually get paid to distribute garbage to strangers.
@ArfMeasures: ALLIGATOR: I'm gonna eat you ME: But we could be friends. You could be my palligator A: Ok for that I'm gonna somehow try to eat you twice
@joeyhuggles: My favorite response to someone asking how something works... "Magic" even when I do know how it works. Because Lazy