@ericsshadow: The fireworks have been over for hours but Rex is still barking, which is weird because he's 12 years old and not a dog. Weird little kid.
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@djdarrellripley: Me: You think you have all the answers but believe me, you need what I have up here.. *points to head* Her: What, half a bottle of mousse?
@AngelaEhh: Kids teach you so many life lessons. Unconditional love, patience, the meaning of family, but mostly to lock the bedroom door.
@thepunningman: [boardroom] "Now hear me out. They're Teenage.." Ok "Mutant.." I like where this is going "Ninja.." Noun me, Graham! "Turtles" You're fired
@jessokfine: How are you supposed to buy a gift for your mom as an adult? It's like, oh you gave birth to me? Please enjoy this fancy candle.