@ericsshadow: The fireworks have been over for hours but Rex is still barking, which is weird because he's 12 years old and not a dog. Weird little kid.
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@ObscureGent: *God creating Eminem* This one will really hate his mom, but also be really obsessed with her spaghetti.
@JRevard: If I ever only have 3 months to live, I want my ex to move back in. That would be the longest 3 months of my life.
@cray_at_home_ma: Me, to all my kids before the age of 2. "No screens allowed." On their 2nd birthday, handing over iPad. "This is your mother now."
@KKAlThani: Somewhere right now, a girl just uploaded a picture of herself saying "Not looking good today" after deleting the first 50 pictures she took