@NeuroticMess: The first 30 years of childhood are always the hardest.
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@AndrewNadeau0: ME: Not all heroes eat crepes. HIM: It's "Not all heroes wear capes." ME: Oh, so do all heroes eat crepes? HIM: ME: Then shut up.
@medievalfun: Jesus:"table for 26 please" Waiter: "but there are 13 of you" J: "yes but we're all going to sit on the same side"
@weismanjake: One of the toughest parts of adulthood is figuring out how to stay friends with people who post too many selfies
@DaHess1: Hey you with the Uggs, Michael Kors bag, iPhone, scarf and super excited voice.. *70 million white women turn around*