@TheToddWilliams: The first “cowboy” was a hideous creature, born of irresponsible science.
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@stephenjmolloy: Ian: "He ran out of the restaurant, got in the car and drove off fast." Cop: 'Did you see his plate?" Ian: "Yeah. He was eating tacos."
@LorieGZ: Me: I hope you pee your pants, teach you not to hold it in! My daughter: You shouldn't wish for that..you're the one that does the laundry!
@Carbosly: Right about now, family members all over the country are realizing the Starbucks cards I gave them for Christmas are empty.