@david8hughes: The first fireman to get called to rescue a cat in a tree must have had the hose wrestled from him before someone told him to get a ladder.
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@egg_dog: HEY GRAPEFRUIT, know what else is a grape AND a fruit? GRAPES. yeah. so get your own name you citrus idiot
@wesjohnson8: "What am I supposed to do with this speeding ticket?" Officer, "Keep it, when you collect four of them, you get a bicycle."
@djdarrellripley: Me: Don't be mean to my friend. Her: Your friend just broke in my door and almost strangled me. Me: I said he was my friend, not yours.
@jctwritesstuff: So let me get this straight. A dude comes back to life after three days and no one cuts his head off?