@TravLeBlanc: The first of Jay-Z's 99 problems is the obsessive compulsive disorder that requires him to know his precise number of problems at all times.
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@Cheese_Pile: *Walks into puppy store wearing a large trenchcoat* *Hurries out of puppy store in a much tighter-fitting trenchcoat*
@Reverend_Scott: COPS: WE'RE COMIN IN "have a police dog?" COPS: YES "only the dog can come in" COP: BUT- "my house, my rules" COP: I guess that's true
@juliussharpe: I rented a tuxedo then didn't need it. Do you know how hard it is to sublet a tuxedo?
@brokeymcpoverty: reasons white people riot: 1. their sports team wins 2. their sports team loses 3. no more tickle me elmos 4. tea 5. pumpkins