@JUSTLisandra: The first person to ever call me a psycho was Lorraine from high school. Height 5'4, coffin size 84 by 28 by 23.
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@CoopSoSarc: Hitting on women at this PTA meeting would probably be easier if I actually had a kid at this school.
@SaddestFinger: My grandfather told me that during the war he was exposed to irritants like pepper spray and mustard gas. Now he's a seasoned vet.
@aPunch2theJunk: Ladies: If a man approaches you and he's wearing Crocs, hold perfectly still. Their vision is based off movement.
@thatcarlygirl: Hey, cooking directions on the sides of packages: Nobody knows the wattage of their microwave.