@JUSTLisandra: The first person to ever call me a psycho was Lorraine from high school. Height 5'4, coffin size 84 by 28 by 23.
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@spikeWilton67: Relationship Status: Got put in the friend zone by a succubus playing around on a Ouija board. I can't even get lucky in the spirit world.
@blaudiablogan: It is truly easier to forgive your enemies than figure out how to limit their access to your facebook page.
@0point5twins: Anyone got a 10 year old daughter I could introduce as mine? Stuck in an elaborate lie after putting my music on shuffle at a party.
@writerPT: Coworker: You look tired. Did you not get enough sleep last night? Me: Nope. Slept great! But thanks for telling me I look like shit.