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@AGreaterMonster: The first rule of Fight Club is till death do us part.
@Sanbel11: He was a real gentlemen and always opened the fridge door for me
@juliussharpe: Women, don't tell us about your boyfriend. He's a guy. We know what he's like.
@MichaelTrying: Dear Evolution,
It’s a conference call, not a bear attack. How about making me super eloquent instead of the heart rate and adrenaline?
@Reverend_Scott: "PARTY FOWL" someone yelled as the drunk duck did another keg stand
@jwoodham: INTERVIEWER: If Harry Potter was real, what Hogwarts house would you be in?
ME: What do you mean "if" Harry Potter was real?