@tigersgoroooar: The first rule of kite club is you do not talk about Benjamin Franklin.
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@JordanPeele: I've been dating a girl online who I think might be a Catfish. Every time I try to meet, her excuse is that she "can't survive on dry land."
@pdxjohnny99: The coolest thing about the last Hobbit movie was knowing it was the last Hobbit movie.
@garrettbarry70: Wish I had the confidence of a small child having a meltdown at the shopping mall.
@fuzzlime: Tweriod: That time of the month when all my tweets are moody, retain water and are about chocolate and cheesecake