@RatBatallion: The first rule of Mormon fight flub is go door to door talking about Mormon fight club .
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@TheMichaelRock: Oh, did my tweet insulting a celebrity upset you? Maybe you should tell them about it the next time you guys hang out.
@jonnysun: JOB INTERVIEWER: it says here ur a postmodern deconstructivist…? ME: did ur parents realy name u 'Job'? especialy with a last name like urs?
@Twitmytweeties: 1) Lick tip. 2) Stick it in gently. 3) Pump 12-20 times. 4) Sweat profusely. 5) Pull out gently. -Instructions on inflating a basketball.
@semple42: There's this woman in my office who is wearing the same outfit as yesterday and she reeks of tequi......ok it's me.